someone else's shadow
04.20.2006 @ 12:50 a.m.

An ex went through drive recently. Somehow my sister came up. Not with me, my mother.

An ex she never liked�is sitting there discussing my sister with her. My sister. One more time. My. Sister.

Yeah, I�m the one he slept with, the one he dated�and they were talking about my sister.

I don�t know if he asked or she volunteered. But, I do know the feeling in my stomach is identical to that day, every single time I think about it.

The guy I�m seeing doesn�t understand why it bothered me when he said she was pretty.

He�s never had to live in the shadows of a brother. He doesn�t get it and never will.

And Ben, when I asked him�.years ago now�if he thought she was attractive�his answer was this ::

You know what? I don�t really know. She�s your sister after all. I think you�re attractive. That I know.

Great answer. He has three older brothers. They are attractive guys, but none as much as him. Not to me anyhow.

I love her more than anyone. So, why is she so able to make me feel like nothing without even trying. Without ever even being there?

She was beautiful
She had everything and more
And my escape was hiding out and running for the door

Somebody listen please
It used to be so hard being me
Living in the shadow
Of someone else�
Don't feel sorry for me

All the days collided
One less perfect than the next
I was stuck inside someone else's life and always second best
Oh, I love you now 'cause now I realize
That it's safe outside to come alive in my identity

So if you're listening
There's so much more to me you haven't seen
Living in the shadow
Of someone else�

|

<< all that was << // >> and will be >>

fourth came too quickly - 06.07.2006
someone else's shadow - 04.20.2006
what else - 04.06.2006
let go - 03.12.2006
a part yet apart - 03.11.2006

all content copyright thelongreign 2007

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