a part yet apart
03.11.2006 @ 11:03 p.m.

I sometimes get this feeling like I'm not really a part of it all. I'm thereI'm interacting and being interacted with. And yetI feel apart.

So often I wonder what it would be like to be different. In a hundred different ways.

More relaxed.

More calm.

Less uptight.

I sometimes want to be anything and everything but what I am.

My 'ex' was where we were tonight. I didn't feel half as uncomfortable as I thought I would.

I was fine. It was pretty easy to forget he was there.

I danced like nobody was watching.

I laughed loud and free.

I drank a bit. Loosened up some. Danced a bit. Sobered up. Danced some more. Eventually came home.

Now, I need to wash this crap off my face and crawl into my bed.

How old you realize you are when you wrap it up at 12:15 and could have gone home thirty minutes earlier and been as equally satisfied.